My grandmother gave all five or her children a t-shirt that said, "Mom loves me best." My dad, aunt, and uncles all started teasing each other about who was really the favorite child. Each insisted that mom loved them best. My grandmother, of course, said something about how they were all her favorites. While this might seem like a sweet gift and fun bit of sibling rivalry, it hits upon a few truths of favorites.
It might sound too good to be true, but it isn't. Everyone can be the favorite. From an early age, we are conditioned to think there can only be one favorite. That is simply not the case. Favorite has more to do with a certain kind of person than it does in being the single best. In other words, favorite is about a type of person, the person who is dependable, kind, and trustworthy. Therefore, everyone on the team can be the favorite because everyone can be dependable, kind, and trustworthy.
Again, we often think that favorite is reserved for some kind of super human person. That is not the case. Any one can be the favorite. It is not reserved for the special few. So, if you feel like someone on your team or management is playing favorites, they might just be, but that could include you too.
If everyone and anyone can be a favorite, then why have them in the first place? For one, it is what humans do. They like to sort and categorize people. In other words, having favorites is inevitable. However, favorite is not a gold star someone gets because they are somehow innately better than everyone else. It is a moniker earned by hard work and good character. That totally changes the game around being the favorite.
Having favorites is okay. Playing favorites is not. Playing favorites is more exclusive and detrimental than having favorites is. Playing favorites allows for only one or two people to be the favorite. Rather, having favorites allows everyone to be the favorite. Is it not okay for a coworker or boss to try to force you to earn their favor by doing less than ideal tasks or acting in a certain way. This would be an example of playing favorites. Everyone should have the opportunity to shine and be trusted. If this is not happening, someone might be playing favorites. Favorite should be about rewarding good, diligent workers for the good, diligent work they are doing. Favorite should never be a title dangled just out of reach.
I know, quite confidently, that I am and have been the favorite in every job or activity I have ever been in. I was the favorite in band and marching band. I was the favorite in debate. I am the favorite at my current job. I plan to be the favorite in my future job. Sound like I'm bragging? Maybe just a little bit. I'm trying to set up my credentials so I can share with you my tips on how to be the favorite.
My debate coach says that if there was a tournament, I was there. I was at practice every week. I was consistent. This was true even for the semester that I was student teaching. Even though I had other obligations, I was there. Not only that, but I was there on time or early. I demonstrated my commitment to the team by being there when I was supposed to be. I was a person that could be counted on because I was there. This enables me to say that I am a favorite on the team.
The first job that I had on my college campus involved building things. This involved using physical labor and many tools. Some of my co-workers were not too keen on this idea. If they finished something or got stuck, they would just sit there. They did not seem to be in a hurry to move on. At first, that was me too. Then I overheard my boss express his annoyance at that behavior. I started getting the work done. I moved efficiently. If I got stuck, I asked for help or moved to something else. When I finished one project, I moved on to another project. I could tell that my boss appreciated my efforts. Instead of ignoring my responsibilities or dragging my feet, I got the work done. I was a favorite.
I have a great attitude when it comes to work. In fact, I have received comments on my positivity in each of the activities and jobs I have been involved in. I have decided to be happy about coming to work. That attitude shows. It helps me get along better with my co-workers and boss. It helps me to complete quality work. I choose to look on the bright side of difficult situations. All of this means that I am pleasant to work with because I bring joy to other people.
I do want to say that I also understand the times when that is not appropriate. I am not endlessly happy when situations call for more somber emotions. If you have trouble with this particular trait, check out this blog post!
These are three qualities that have worked well for me to become a favorite. However, these are not the only qualities I have or actions I take. Furthermore, these are not the only things leaders are looking for. Your boss might also value timeliness, tidiness, willingness to learn, or engagement in meetings. The key is to listen. If your boss mentions something that irritates them, don't do that. If they talk about something they appreciate, try to gain that skill or quality.