AAAAAHHHHH!!. I heard the sound, and I was up off the couch before I processed what was going on.
It was just about bedtime, on a Sunday night, and the house had been quiet with the sounds of winding down. The sharp cry was followed by heavy treads on the stairs and a breathless, “There’s a bat!”
Having moved into a 125-year-old house about 4 years ago now, I had been wondering when this day would come, but a bigger part of me had secretly been holding out hope that it would never actually arrive. Nonetheless, here we were.
As my friend Nancy would say, I like the idea of bats – they do great things for the world. But I like bats out there. As much as I like the idea of them, I don’t like the idea of them in the house. Sunday night, this was a lousy way to end a weekend or start a week. I just wanted to go to bed, not fight off nature in my own house!
A little inquiry revealed that the bat had flown around upstairs and was now trapped behind a closed door in my bedroom. My BEDROOM! I’ll confess that moving and finding a hotel for the night both crossed my mind. But all my stuff is in my bedroom, so I was going to have to go in there one way or another. Regardless of how I feel about bats, I was going to have to deal with this before I could sleep tonight.
Given this was my first bat encounter, I did what any modern woman would do: I Googled it.
I scrolled through a couple of options and DIY videos on double speed, checked Iowa DNR site for any guidelines, and landed on what I thought sounded like a viable solution.
Clothed in an extra jacket, a hood, and gloves, and armed with an empty shoe box with a flattened lid, I slowly entered the room. There was the bat against the wall, way above my reach. Looking much bigger than I had expected. I slowly backed out the door and went back downstairs for a step stool.
When I came back a few minutes later, armed with a step stool, I slowly opened the door and peered around the corner at the wall.
The bat was gone. Not where I left it. My heart sank.
I stepped all the way in, and closed the door softly behind me, heart racing so fast I could hear the blood rushing past my ears. Where are you big guy?
And then, I saw it, just above eye level. Curled up against the white wall.
Grateful that I wouldn’t need a step stool after all, I took the shoe box in one hand and slowly approached, speaking gentle soothing words in gentle tones. It must have taken minutes to reach the bat, all the while saying things like “would you like to go outside?” “there are all kinds of yummy bugs out there” “are you ready to go outside now?” “I’m sure you don’t want to stay in here, do you?” in my most sweet, gentle, sing-song voice. I moved in the most non-threatening way I knew how and spoke in the gentlest tone I know.
When I thought I was close enough, I swiftly set the box around the bat with one hand, and used the other to slide the flattened lid between the bat and the wall, putting the bat safely into the box for removal from the house.
It was at this point that I noticed I was shaking.
Fortunately, by this point my husband was home, up to speed, and in the hallway, and he helped hold the box closed while we took it down the stairs and out to the back yard.
When I darted back into the house, having set the box out, lidless, for the bat friend to make its way to freedom, I was still pretty rattled.
My husband greeted me with a celebratory glass of wine, and we toasted to a new color in my paintbox.
And then, I thought about the lessons from this little adventure that might hold true for other circumstances too.
1 - When someone moves out, something else may move in.
We’re pretty sure that the bat came in because of a hole created when our older daughter emptied her closet to move out a few days prior. Her closet had a small hole up to the attic. While she lived here, the closet was very full, and the closet door was usually closed. Since she moved out, the closet is empty, the closet door stands open, and the bedroom door has been left open most of the time, creating just enough space for a curious little critter.
This creates an interesting analogy about cause and effect, about voids being created and what fills them. In your workday or working teams... When a team member leaves or a project ends, what was filing time or space that left a void? What filled that void? Let’s be diligent about what kinds of things can creep into the open spaces in our thoughts, our conversations, our workspaces, and our lives.
2 -Sometimes, no one’s coming to save us
This adventure happened after 9pm on a Sunday night. The reality was that I couldn’t wait for someone else to swoop in and rescue me. I can think of times in my life when I’ve relied on my parents, kind neighbors, and friends to step in and help. And sometimes, the buck stops with me.
Sometimes, we have to figure things out and solve our own problems. Being ready and equipped to use our own resources to solve our own problems is a thing. In some moments, it’s a rite of passage – the first time you (fill in the blank). recognizing that sometimes, the problems are ours to solve, and when we use the resources at our disposal to solve them, we may be pleasantly surprised with the success we find!
3-Keep your eye on the ball
Okay, in this case, it was a bat, but the moment I took my eye off it, it moved. That’s pretty significant, and it could have cost me a night’s sleep. The sense of dread I had when I realized that the bat had moved while I’d looked away was almost worse than the discovery that there was a bat in the house in the first place.
When we keep our eye on the ball, we won’t face the painful setback that could happen if we lose sight of the goal. Assign a spotter or a goal watcher to help if you can’t do it by yourself so that the goal doesn’t get lost in the shuffle.
4 -Gentle tones and setting clear expectations – they have to help
I’ll admit I don’t know much about bat psychology. So maybe my soothing voice didn’t actually help the bat stay calm. But it did help me stay calm and focused.
I also think there’s a parallel we can draw here – I was clearly communicating my actions, and my words and my actions were consistent. I was in fact trapping the bat to set it free. I meant it no harm; I just wanted it out of my house. I wanted it to be free to do its bat thing outside and be happy living its best life out in its bat world so that I could keep living my best life in my house. And I said so, in a calm, clear, consistent message.
When we’re asking someone else to do something, if we clearly communicate what it is that we want from them, and why we want it, and we consistently have their best interests at heart – and again – we communicate that clearly, I think we have a better shot at positively influencing the behaviors of others.
I’ve heard other “bat in the house” stories with people swinging sticks or hammers and yelling – and I feel like as a bat, I’d be less inclined to trust someone who is yelling and swinging a stick or a hammer than I am to trust someone who is softly communicating how they are going to help – and then who follows through with their commitments to help.
5-Have a plan for who’s pouring the wine or throwing the confetti
You’ve heard me mention the importance of celebrating. When we hit new milestones, when we gain new skills, when we tackle big mountains (metaphorical or real), it’s important to take a moment to celebrate.
In this case, I immediately texted a dear friend (and bat lover) and told her of my triumph. While I was doing that, my husband poured the wine. Maybe you trap and free bats every day, but I don’t. This was a pretty big deal for me, and I needed a moment to celebrate. New life skill unlocked! It was meaningful to me to have a friend provide words of affirmation and my husband pour a celebratory glass of wine.
When you accomplish a new skill, take a moment to celebrate. When someone in your life levels up, celebrate them, too! When we celebrate each other, we’re promoting a growth mindset, which is how we keep us moving forward!