When my daughter Anja was in kindergarten, I recall her coming home one day and describing the process of the “color system”.
She said, “If we’re good, Mom, we stay on green. If we’re a little bit naughty, Mom, then we get a yellow card and that’s a reminder. If we’re a lot naughty then we get a red card and have to stay in for recess. And, if we’re really naughty after that, they call your mom.”
When she finished her solemn explanation, I recall looking at her with my hands on my hips and saying, “Well then, Anja, my expectation for you is that you stay on green.”
She looked up at me and said, “Well, duh, Mom, of course! That’s easy! You just don’t do bad stuff.”
The thing that Anja learned in kindergarten is to not do bad stuff. She is one of those people who can learn by watching others. She can see when others have tough times and observe their responses and consequences and then apply that to her own situation to perhaps make her own experience a bit easier.
Do you recall what you learned in kindergarten? When Anja was in kindergarten, I learned that she can learn by watching others. When I was in kindergarten -- and now we have to dig way back -- I did learn some things that influence me today. And many of our readers will recognize the truths from Robert Fulghum’s famous collection of essays (originally published in 1986 and quoted and parodied countless times since) Everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten. You see, even as adults, we remember some simple lessons from the formative years of our childhood, like manners, kindness, sharing, and even some basic skills like reading, writing, and ‘rithmatic.
Here are five lessons that I learned in kindergarten that still apply today.
Today, I continue to demonstrate respect for my neighbors as well as for those in positions of leadership. I continue to use courtesy when connecting with others and to be sensitive to those working around them so as not to disturb them with my exuberance. I continue to use “please” and “thank you”, and to let others finish speaking before I jump in.
Being kind is similar to showing respect, though it requires a little more “oomph”. It involves putting the other person first, and sometimes even giving up a little of what is ours. In kindergarten, this might look like letting the other person take a turn, or walking single file without talking in order to be kind to those learning around us. Making room at the lunch table for someone else or inviting someone to join in a game of four-square was about being kind, inclusive, and showing generosity.
Today, being kind is still about demonstrating thoughtfulness and generosity towards others. It’s giving people the benefit of the doubt rather than jumping to conclusions. It’s assuming positive intent rather than assuming the worst. It’s volunteering and participating in community service activities. And, when you have more than you need, it’s taking the time to share.
Today, some of us may prize self-sufficiency to a fault. While it’s important to be able to do things for yourself, and to take initiative, it’s also important to ask for and accept help from others. Nevertheless, there’s definitely benefit in the ability to detect where something can prevent us from falling, and take deliberate steps to avoid a stumble.
In kindergarten we learn to shape and form our letters. We learn to call things by name. We learn to label the colors red and yellow and green and blue. We learn to shape the letter A and B and C. It turns out that those aren’t just because someone somewhere declared those are the words we should use; by investing the time in communication, we are better able to connect with others. If you call it the red ball and I call it a yellow bouncer, we’ll have a hard time talking about the same thing and understanding that we want to play the same game on the playground. We practice communication for hours and hours in kindergarten. Somehow in kindergarten we learned that communication has a process, a formula, and that it takes a lot of work.
Today, if you know anything about me by now, you know that I value the effort, the discipline, the practice, and the improvement of communication to help us be more effective together.
Today, I am supremely grateful to Mrs. Pat Spencer who taught my kindergarten class all those years ago for instilling a lifelong love of learning.
There are countless lessons that we learned in kindergarten, but we rarely realize how much of what we learned in our formative years actually impacts us and our interactions with others today. What else did you learn in kindergarten, and how has that knowledge shaped you into who you are and how you view the world today? Or what did you learn in kindergarten, that you might have forgotten or haven’t been using lately, that’s worth remembering now? Chime in on social media and share your stories!