Have you ever been driving on an early morning and hit a patch of fog so thick you couldn’t see? What was the first thought that came to mind? We’re guessing it wasn’t “Ooh, fun! I love when I can’t see--it makes everything so exciting!”
Humans don’t like ambiguity. We crave clarity and purpose, and anything gray or fuzzy can make us uncomfortable, maybe even anxious. Our typical response to “the unknown” or the gray is to avoid it. That’s why a lot of us prefer swimming pools to scuba diving. Unfortunately, as we’ve all learned, just because we don’t like something doesn’t mean it goes away. 2020 has certainly made that clear. 2020 has also, unfortunately for us, made a lot of other things fuzzy, or gray, or, *gulp*, unknown. While we can’t wave a magic wand (although wouldn’t that be handy?!) or dig out a crystal ball, we can give you some tips on how to get through the gray.
Admitting “I don’t know,” or “I’m not sure,” can be nerve wracking, but it can also be liberating enough to help get us started. We can either stay stuck on the edge of what we know until it becomes so outdated that we fall into a canyon, or we can make some changes and soldier on, even when the destination is unclear. It’s not going to be fun, and it’s not going to be easy.
As we’re learning this year, we often don’t have the luxury of knowing what tomorrow will bring or what it will look like, which can make planning feel like playing darts with spaghetti noodles. How can you plan for something when you have no idea what exactly you’re planning for?
We don’t have an answer. But not having an answer can also help us imagine different scenarios that we might need to plan for, or create contingency plans. “I’m not sure what it WILL look like, but here is what it COULD look like, so let’s plan for that.”
Need a mantra? Try: “I don’t know. And I don’t know when I will know. And that’s ok, and I’m doing the best I can with what I know (and what I don’t).”
Download this mantra as a desktop background here!
Brainstorm -- draw a box, in the center of a whiteboard or flipchart and label “the thing”, and then jot down all your “knowns” around it. What gaps are you seeing? Those might be good places to start your research.
Being a beginner means you have to begin. Give yourself permission to START. Sometimes it seems easier to wallow in the ambiguity--we’ve probably all been a Chicken Little or a hand-wringer at some point, and those things certainly have their place before we begin trudging through the gray. But if we’re too busy wallowing, we’re not moving forward. It’s hard to get started if we stay stuck. Just like admitting, “I don’t know”, adopting the role of a beginner gives us some freedom to fail. Because if we fail well, we’re still LEARNING. And if we’re learning, we’re shrinking the unknown. So be a beginner, get started however you can -- take action.
Whether it’s research, putting a plan down on paper that you know isn’t going to work (it’s ok, you can revise it!), or talking to people and asking questions, do something. Don’t let the start stop you for too long.
Check in on your buddy! Do something if you can – and sometimes listening is all it takes!
As we enter into the part of the year with less sunshine and more gray and windy days, we often become sluggish. Even gray weather can zap our energy, morale, and motivation, and a lot of us have already thought, “How much more can we TAKE?” After an admittedly dark year all around, we’re not sure how to prepare for the winter blues that might hit even harder than normal. It’s important that, in the midst of all the unknown swirling around us, we make time for fun, for something that uplifts us, brings us joy, laughter, and peace.
There’s always time for a board game or movie night with our family, a caramel macchiato on the way to work, a run on the treadmill to decompress, or a drive down a winding county two-lane with a well-curated playlist.
Whether it’s a project or problem that’s stumping you and you don’t know where to start, a change you’re facing that will affect your future, or a new role that’s making you nervous, we hope these tips give you a place to start, and some small steps to help the unknown feel a little less scary. Take comfort and find confidence in how far you’ve come—you’ve come out on the other side of some pretty tough stuff, and are stronger for it.
Think of a challenge you’ve overcome that you didn’t think you would – aren’t you better for it? And if you can get through that, you can get through anything.
Remember that we’re always here for you, and just know that we’re going through it together! If there’s a way we can help you get through the gray, shoot us an email! We’d love to help however we can.