We’re busy people. A multitude of things demand our attention all at once, which is why influencing up can be a challenge. We have to get our messages through the first time because we don’t have time to do things twice. We have to prepare the people around us for when we run into delays or risks. We have to make sure everyone is involved and paying attention because our decisions impact everyone. So, when it comes to influencing up in our organizations and improving our stakeholder relationships, there is a need for authentic, effective, and time-sensitive engagement. Influencing up allows us to motivate, inspire, and get stuff done, so, lean in for six ways to increase your influence, with helpful tools, techniques, and tips!
1. Recognize 3 Critical Success Factors
No matter the size of your organization or where you fall within it, there are three success factors critical to influencing up well:
- Power dynamics matter, and yours will grow when you put the good of the organization first
- Leverage your Emotional Intelligence, and you’re never done growing your EI!
- The responsibility of each communication falls on the communicator’s shoulders, and whichever role you play (sender or receiver, you’re the communicator!)
Taking a quick moment to consider how those three factors play out in each situation you’re in will make an immediate and lasting impact on your influence.
2. Know Your Positional and Personal Powers
Positional Power: this power is given to you by an authority or by an organization and it comes with a title. You’re not “just” a [insert your own title here] …, you have been empowered! But like every role, your title comes with responsibility. When granted positional power, it’s expected that you’re going to do something with your power. You work in customer service? Then it’s expected that you’ll do everything possible to serve and support your customers in a timely manner. You’re a project manager? That means you’re expected to successfully navigate and deliver on projects. You’re a leader of a team? That means you’re expected to bring out the best in the people you lead.
Personal Power: this is what might be called charisma, influence, or motivating others. This is how likeable you are. This is how you show up on a daily basis. This is how you establish yourself as someone who chooses to smile, to be kind, and to be friendly. Personal power is how you earn power. It’s the ways you’ve connected with others, inspired greatness, and proven yourself over the years with dedication and commitment.
When used together, we take the positional power granted to us, and use our personal power to increase our effectiveness. My positional power is the authority granted to me to complete this task. My personal power is how I accomplish the task and help make the days of everyone around me a little brighter.
By understanding what your stakeholders expect of you in your position, and how you can make their day better, you can improve your stakeholder influence – which is especially helpful when influencing up and with both regular communications and out-of-the box communications.
3. Use The Languages of Appreciation in a Meeting
Now, what if you could brighten someone’s day just by using these powers in a day-to-day meeting? What if you could make someone feel valued and appreciated just by going to a meeting with you or by having a conversation with them in the hallway?
I have great news – you can do exactly that! Here are some ways you can use all five languages of appreciation in a single meeting:
- Begin and end with “thank you”, and express gratitude throughout
- Pre-set the room/Zoom with a welcome slide, agendas, handouts, pens, sticky notes, and shared docs
- Arrive early, confirm start/stop times, use norms, keep cameras on, and be the last to leave
- Bring snacks, call people by name, chart write so others can see their words in writing
- Welcome with a handshake, end with a high-five (or use reaction buttons), and make eye contact
4. Grow Your Emotional Intelligence
We’ve talked a lot about emotional intelligence before and it happens in these four steps – self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. Since it’s a fairly linear process, we move from one step to the next and continuously repeat the cycle. When we move into a new role or join a new organization, we move through the steps again and practice over and over. Here’s a reminder of the process with some tips for influencing up:
Self-Awareness: Emotional intelligence starts with you. You know yourself better than anyone else, meaning you know what drives you, what makes you smile, and what frustrates or annoys you.
Influence up tip: Keep paying attention to your own strengths, your own areas for growth. Keep watching for your blind spots, and keep becoming more aware of your own emotional triggers.
Self-Management: We have a natural instinct to act in certain ways, but those instincts aren’t always best in the moment. By using self-management, we can learn how to adjust our instincts so that we respond appropriately in every situation.
Influence up tip: Pay attention to how you need to prepare yourself before going into interactions with some stakeholders, how you need to adjust your pace or your tone when interacting with others, or perhaps practice breathing deeply or demonstrating more confident mastery over certain situations.
Social Awareness: Social awareness recognizes other people and the fact that what they feel and experience is different from what I feel and experience. With social awareness, we recognize our differences, try to see how others feel in their shoes, and look for ways we can support them.
Influence up tip: Consider the situation that your stakeholders find themselves in. Look around for other demands on their time or their resources. Imagine what a day in their life might look like and what their stressors, and triggers might be. Spend some time understanding their preferred communication style and their language of appreciation.
Relationship Management: Relationship management is about putting it all together. Take what you know from each step and use your influence to move people forward toward the best possible outcome.
Influence up tip: How can you adjust your own approach to make the workday better for your stakeholders? Can you prepare information ahead of when they ask for it because you can anticipate what they’ll need? Can you present challenges with solutions rather than problems that need fixing so that they don’t imagine you’re just coming to them expecting answers? Can you share insights into good things going on in the organization that they can’t see from where they sit, that might brighten their day and give them hope?
5. Be Sensitive to Your Cultural Awareness
When influencing up, it’s powerful to remember that the leaders above us have very different roles and responsibilities than we do.
I remember having conversations with people who were frustrated that leaders weren’t answering an email or were responding to only one of the five questions being asked. The application of emotional intelligence can take us to cultural awareness. When influencing up, it’s important to apply their cultural standard to their behavior, not your cultural standard. Executive leaders spend their time and energy focusing on very different things than others within the organization.
Instead of being frustrated by their different focuses, we can stop judging up and ask, “how can I make their life, their day easier as I run alongside them?” If we can encourage those around us to recognize this, then we break cultural and communicative barriers.
Some tools that can help include representing things visually, putting the bottom line on top in conversations, reducing the number of clicks it takes for a senior leader to get the information they need, getting to the point as quickly as you can, and leaving room for questions and dialog after the main point is reached.
6. Improve Your Communications with DISC
Another useful tool for influencing up is understanding and adapting to the communication styles we see both in ourselves and in others. This makes sure everyone on a team does what they do best, and the fundamentals of DISC help us to work together toward our goals.
Dominance (“D”): How you handle problems and challenges.
When handling problems and challenges, folks with this communication trait are often direct and speak authoritatively, and are known for leading and taking action. As you communicate with them, come ready with a brief answer, and “move with purpose” rather than moving slowly.
Influence (“I”): How you handle people and influence others.
Those with this communication trait often draw others around them because they are natural storytellers; they tend to inspire and motivate others and laugh spontaneously. When you connect with them, be sure to make time to listen to them, get to know them as people, and connect on a personal level.
Steadiness (“S”): How you handle change and pace yourself.
Those with this communication trait often listen more than they speak; they tend to be loyal followers of great visions and great leaders, but tend not to jump at the chance to drive unwarranted change. When you work with these stakeholders try providing the big picture and plenty of time to prepare for changes; it can also be useful to ask them for specific help.
Compliance (“C”): How you handle information, policies, and procedures.
Those with this communication trait are often those who ask the most questions; they can also be meticulous and conscientious about getting things exactly right. To support them best, give them the information in advance, give them plenty of time to think things through, and come ready to answer questions without taking offense as they identify potential risks.
Not one of these qualities is better than another. In truth, if I understand that the person I’m working with falls into one of these communication styles, I gain a better understanding of how I can communicate effectively with them. The next time you’re in a meeting or one-on-one, remember these communication styles, ask yourself what the other person’s style is, and provide them with what it is they need to succeed.
Hopefully some of these six tips offer you some ideas to get you started on your way to influencing even better. I encourage you to start on the journey to even better, starting now! If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out, or check out our Change Makers Certification Program where we teach many of the elements of DISC and emotional intelligence!
